May 27th, 2010

One of the biggest news stories in recent days has been the final episode of “Lost,” the epic TV show of the past six years. Infused with symbolism, each weekly story focused on several characters who were struggling with problems in their lives that culminated in the disastrous plane crash that brought them together on a mysterious island. Many viewers, like me, followed the series to witness the characters and their evolution as they encountered a blend of mythical and sci-fi images and challenges.

“Why,” you ask, am I writing about this TV show when my blogs are about grief and the impact of loss on our lives? It’s because I saw similarities between the ‘Four Pillars of Identity’ I presented in my book, The Five Ways We Grieve, and the issues these people were grappling with as they tried to adapt to the strange and uncomfortable new environment on the island.

First and foremost, these characters were survivors of a major traumatic event — just as the loss of a loved one is a painful and life-altering event. Many of the survivors confronted their own sense of mortality as a result of their experience. Then, as the stories of each individual emerged, there were questions about time– how long would it take for rescuers to find them? As they gradually grasped the reality of their living together for survival on the island, leaders emerged with various values and priorities that both helped their adjustment and also presented conflicting views of what was important to survival. Finally, everyone had to figure out where they fit in relation to the others and where they fit in this weird new world.

Ultimately, as I present in my book, each survivor faced the daunting challenge of creating a new identity — sometimes better, sometimes worse — than their former ‘selves.’ In doing so, each person was searching for meaning about life and death.

Millions of viewers have been offering their unique interpretations about what “Lost” was trying to tell them. In the coming weeks, I will share my thoughts about each of these issues, and how they contribute to our own feelings and beliefs about loss and grief.